Yo Mamma!
Are you a big beautiful black Queen Diva?
Are you a Bootylicious thicksista with more goin' on in that trunk than two dogs under a blanket?
Well ladies, The Queen has it all for you!
We are big lovely women and we dine and wine the high life, but sometimes we maybe troubled by that occasional embarrassment of a

crossed legged crosswind!
Now ladies, what if I told you about a freshening mint for your backside?
Say what?
You know it Sistah!
I am talking
Queen Latifah’s Butt-Queefahs

Honey!
Just pop one of my freshening mints with one tall glass of water each day
and
every jet you make will be a bloom of a heavenly state!
Yo cell phone will be ringin’ outtah yo purse from every man who knows
The fine scent of a big black beautiful woman!
Each of my freshening mints comes in a variety of scents that squeak of femininity

African Violet

Magnolia Magnum

Cleo’s Cleome

Egyptian Sandalwood

And
Jamaican Splendora

Blow a kiss in confi-fi-fi-dence Sistah. Give the most intimate of yo inna sef!
Try
Queen Latifah’s Butt-Queefahs

For a scent that is all your own!

Just In Time for Christmas!!!

Are you a Christian?

Are you over-worked, over-scheduled and find you have no time for anything?

Has your diet become poor and the only thing increasing is your

level of stress,

financial debt

and that

bulging waistline?

You are a good Christian, you MUST find that non-existent worship time EVERY Friday, Sunday along with those

impossible, nagging WEDNESDAYS!!!

GET DOWN OFF THAT CRUCIFIX MONA!!!

It may be ONLY three servings of the Lord and Savior, but any which way you tack it, poke it, or pack it away!

THAT IS A LOT OF JESUS!!

That is why we have created

(in our own image)

Jesus-lite

Jesus-lite has half the calories and fat as regular Jesus but still has that Divine, creamy taste you have come to expect from the Son of God

Jesus-Lite is just as fulfilling!!

So when you are at your desk, stuck in traffic, or needing that immediate condemnation, crack open a Jesus-lite and receive the New Testament

in an airy, refreshing, revival of taste!

Let's face it

Even God himself took a nap on the Sabbath,

what took Days before must now be done in Minutes.

Don't waste time, Don't Delay

Try Jesus-Lite in these other Heavenly flavors:

**Latin Salsa**

***Zesty Italian***

****Creamy Ranch****

Times are tough, but we are a little tougher!!

The POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!

Jesus-lite is another time saving product from:

Conscience Clenz Industries

Sin-a-Way

Holy Water Spritz

and

Prayer-Minder

Automatic Prayer Emailer

HAPPY HOLIDAYS~SEASONED EXCRETIONS

YO GABBA GAMMA-HYDROXYBUTYRIC ACID! !

Have you seen what your child is watching these days?

Thanks to powers beyond control of mortal men. Satan himself has spawned this black guy who appears as if he has escaped from that late eighties group "Deee-Lite" instructs our children to snoop around and find Mom and Dads sex toys and make up games with them!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggrOcBWqHiU

Here we have the familiar DILDO w/pleasure bumps!!!

The ever popular Butt-Plug Deee-Lite!This Clitoral Vibrator!

The Vibrating EGG!

AAAAND the dreaded, yet washable Jack-Off Spank Monkey Sock!

Finally, A product we need!

Introducing:

Compound C
The cunt stops here™...Compound C® Freeze Off® is clinically proven effective to remove cunts fast with as little as 1 treatment.

let's be honest...

Cunts are unsightly skin growths that may cause you or your child personal embarrassment. To get rid of cunts, there's a Compound C® product that's right for you:

Adults, the Elderly and Children over 6 : Gently rub the affected area near the surface of the cunt with a pumice stone or emery board. Apply Compound C one drop at a time until the cunt is covered. Allow to dry and cover with a waterproof plaster. Repeat daily with regular washing for up to twelve weeks. If the cunt does not dissolve or gets worse, speak to your supervisor.
Whether it´s a cunt in your child´s classroon or a plantar cunt on the bottom your foot, there is a specially-designed Compound C product that can help. Compound C® has been the trusted name in cunt removal for almost 50 years with innovative products for adults and children.

Tara Reid in Taradise

I LOVE Tara Reid in Terrordise. My favorite quote from her was a brief commentary on a Grecian Circuit Party.

"It was great! all Glo-sticks and Whistles!!"

Yes Tara darling.. I do believe you summed it up appropriately.

Some Favorite Magazines

I just love porn!

Of course, not just for arousal's sake...oh no. I like porn that offers little or NO ENJOYMENT. It is here in this nether realm that I enjoy my fancy. I love sleaze. The cheesier the better. I mean.. I "get off" enough with out all the fetishes. Sex is a wonderful thing you can have for just yourself and hopefully with a very special person with whom you love. BUT.. I dedicate this section to The universality of Skankiness!