WARNING! What you are about to see is REAL!

Murdering, Cannibalistic Women Loose in U.S. Cities.
By John Ritalin-Adderall , Associated Press Writer
SEPTEMBER 17, 2007
The US government said Monday that it was issuing a warning to all persons in the United States and abroad regarding the existence of homicidal, cannibalistic women which have appeared suddenly all across the globe.

CDC Director, Julie Louise Gerberding, MD, MPH and Secretary of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff requested an emergency press conference with the following information.

"There has been a series of incidents in every nation on the planet where apparently normal woman are grabbing and consuming the nations young" Dr. Gerberding stated. "At first the reaction to these reports seemed laughable but as the number of reports escalated here in the United States, it soon became apparent that these horrific crimes were occurring in every state in the union and in every region on earth."

Louise Schaffer, 29 a resident of Tipseyindian, Oklahoma, nervously and tearfully described what she saw this past Saturday afternoon. "I was just up the block in a school playground less than a block from my home with my son Brian. He wanted to get on the swing so I sat on the adjacent bench to read my book and watch him." Mrs Schaffer was silent for a few minutes as she gained her composure. "Then this girl appeared from behind, said hello and asked a few questions about him..(sobbing)... I told her that he was a little over a year, that he was a healthy baby and how much he loved to play and sing." Mrs. Schaffer again tried to continue "This woman went up to my son, plucked him right off the swing, opened her mouth like a python and swallowed Brian whole like a snake eats a goat!! (sobbing uncontrollably) "I think I passed out after that..... I can't I can't go on"

A team of people rushed to Mrs. Schaffer's side who was already being attended to by Dr. Gerberding who escorted the traumatized mother to waiting medical staff. Secretary Chertoff continued the briefing. "Ladies and Gentleman, what you are about to see is quite shocking but in the interest of global security, you must see these images to protect yourselves and your families."
If you see one of these fugitives; TAKE NO ACTION yourself. SUBJECT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED AND DANGEROUS!

"All three of these photos were taken in the last two weeks immediately after the creatures had finished feeding. From left to right: New Orleans, LA, Melbourne, Austrailia and Cologne, Germany. All of these shocking images were recorded with the aide of picture cell phone technologies. All of these images have been authenticated by the State Department." Secretary Chertoff reported.

"One of these entities has been captured in Valinsk, Russia and is now being studied in Moscow this morning. We can now bring you a live broadcast from the Russian Ministry of Science." Dr. Gerberding explained. "What we are seeing is an MRI scan inside these social blending monstrosities, as you can see from the monitor we have the digestive tract and the remains of a partially digested human child approximately between 1-12 months." The audience screamed and gasped as the image appeared on the screen.

Keep all of your children inside and away from any doors or windows until this crisis has passed. If you see any of this activity or suspicious women contact your local 911 network.If you see one of these fugitives;

TAKE NO ACTION yourself. SUBJECT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED AND DANGEROUS!
The press confrence ended without any specific questions from reporters answered. Another conference is scheduled at 8pm EDST this evening.

Real Life is Worse Than First Imagined

OK.... so I am going to hell.

Cops: Boy Kills Brother Over Dessert
By John Ritalin-Adderall, Associated Press Writer
Wed Oct 3, 7:33 PM

ORLANDO, Fla. - A 13-year-old choked and beat his 8-year-old brother to death because the younger boy ate a dessert and the older one worried he would be blamed, authorities said Wednesday.

Demetrius Key was arrested on first-degree murder. The boys' mother, Tangela Key, told police she was visiting a cousin nearby and left him in charge of Levares Key and other younger siblings Saturday.

A neighbor told investigators she heard four loud bangs, followed by 10 minutes of quiet and then more commotion, according to an Orange County Sheriff's Office news release.

Demetrius Key went to the cousin's house and told his mother his brother was "passed out," the sheriff's office said. The younger boy was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Demetrius Key initially said he hit his brother with a metal shelf support, investigators said. After investigators searched the house, he said he used a broom handle, the sheriff's office said.
He then told the detective he punched the boy, choked him and banged his head on the floor, according to an affidavit.

"Demetrius offered that Levares upset him by eating a dessert that (he) was not to have eaten," Detective Appling Wells wrote. "He also advised Levares upset him by picking a scab and causing it to bleed.

"Demetrius said he feared Levares would blame both circumstances on him and tell his mother he had struck him and eaten the dessert."

The sheriff's office would not say what the dessert was.

Orange County Medical Examiner Dr. Jan Garavaglia ruled the death a homicide from closed head injuries.
Tangela Key does not have a listed telephone number. The sheriff's office did not immediately know whether Demetrius Key had an attorney.